Thursday, May 04, 2006

SOLDIER ADVANCEMENTS!!????

This is a response to a most grievous accusation that I simply cannot stand by and let… stand. Please, let me explain:

A while back I had a certain young lady and her…well, the family I should say, had a certain young lady and her brother over to the house for dinner. After dinner Tyler, my brother, made chocolate chip cookies with this certain young woman and then, before we baked them I performed a series of military maneuvers with the dough that she now calls, “Soldier Advancements!”

I hate to disagree but:

Those were strategic dough maneuvers preformed with the most advanced cunning and wit! I spent whole seconds planning, organizing, and executing those so called “soldier advancements” Bah!! Those dough boys don’t stand up on their own you know! I had to motivate them! To do that, I had to use one of my most brilliant motivational tactics too date…”Anyone that falls behind…is executed.” *cough* Thankfully, a good many of them fell behind cause I was really hungry…but that’s not the point! Those little guys did what they had to do in order to get the job done! For that, I am proud of them.

For those that had served faithfully and with honor, I let them retire to the oven. However, before they do I give them this little speech in my head. (Military grade dough, or Dough Boys as I call them, can communicate telepathically you know.) Anyway, this is what I think:

Dough Boys, you served with honor and had a great deal of faith in your commanding dictator. You have had friends and brothers fall behind, or I should say you had LET them fall behind. For that I am grateful. As you go forth into your solid state remember this! Cookies LEAD the way!

“Soldier Advancements!” HA! I immortalized them!

*Note* To all those who do not understand a thing I am saying...Sorry, it's the Fogarty Family! Where everyone else has secrets, we have inside jokes.

Cheers!

3 comments:

Master Casual said...

Amy, did you get my Thank-you for your card?

I had a lot of fun that night when you and Joe came over! We need to do it again sometime soon.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Dear General,
Oh my word, that was so very funny! I think you had too much sugar that night:-) Next time we'll have to let someone else have a turn performing the military maneuvers. I think you had way too many casualties. Or should I say your stomach did? Hahaha, LOL!! Who knew chocolate chip cookies could be so complicated? Or exciting? However, I hear tell that a second batch of "little dough boys" were made with great care and this time the little guys made it successfully to their "solid state"!! I believe that is due to their main General being, ummm, should I say, detained at the learning center while awaiting a new deployment detail, which he should receive on Thursday as he makes his way back to his army, a reformed, me hopes, (yeah I know, bad English!!) general!!!!(Warning to that General: That many casualties in one night again and we’ll court-martial you. *think. Well maybe not since you’re a volunteer. *Smile* That night was a BLAST!!!! Thanks for all the work you all put into having us!
And hey, I did get your card. Thanks so much it was cute!!!
Sincerely, A Certain Young Lady

Tyler said...

This also proves that goalies are _completely_ insane.

Like a mage trying to MT.
Or a Pally MT'ing _and_ MH'ing... Oh wait, they can do that. I forgot.

Cheers!
Tyler